Today was pretty uneventful except for in my tummy. The gas started (and hasn't stopped!). My stomach is constantly gurgling. Other than that, Keith left for sea trials today. He should be back tomorrow or Saturday and then out again like one or two days after. I'm not even sure if I'll get to see him in between this part of sea trials and next. I'm having a pretty normal/okay time with the puppies though. I'm dog-sitting another Boston Terrier and he gets along great with my pup and they're both so sweet.
I have decided to brave cloth diapering. I am totally confident Keith and I can succeed. I want my baby to be free from all of those chemicals on disposable diapers. I want to help the environment by not enshrining my baby's poo in plastic for 500 years, I want my baby to have the cutest diapers, AND I want to save money. Other than the laundry, I can't see why people wouldn't want to CD. I'm going to start my manhunt tonight I've decided. I won't buy any yet, but I'll try to get an idea of all that I may need and bookmark ones I plan to buy. I will not purchase one thing for the baby until second tri, but I sure will research!
And the fun begins!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Anxious
** I typed up this post yesterday but for some reason it wouldn't post.
I called my insurance today to see all that they cover for maternity care. It doesn't seem like enough but I'll get through it. I have my first ultrasound in two weeks. It seems forever away but it was the only time that worked with my work schedule. I just want to hear a heartbeat and find out how far along I am. I emailed my manager with my doctor's appointments. I had two within three days of each other. She called my name and I asked her, "What?" Then she yelled across the lobby asking me if I'm pregnant. I didn't see any sense in lying in front of everyone since I will potentially be telling them I am in fact pregnant in a few weeks, so I said "yes." I cried haha. I wanted so bad to keep it a secret. How could I face everyone if I lose the baby? So now I'm outted at work. I'm glad I can talk openly about it, but I would have liked to tell my family before my coworkers. I still don't know how I am going to tell everyone. I want to make it special, since this baby is special to Keith and me. No, the baby wasn't planned, but we're still very excited to embrace this whole new adventure. I don't think either of us is scared we can't do it or we're too young or our relationship won't work. We had every intentions of getting married and starting a family. We were just a little careless but we're more than ready and willing to love this baby with all we have.
Let me talk about Keith. He is amazing! He is smart, driven, funny, handsome, sweet, and mainly mature hah! The look in his eyes when he talks about the baby makes me feel silly that I thought he'd run away screaming. He sometimes gently touches my belly and it's the cutest thing. The first time he did it was not long after I told him and I almost cried. (well I'm also super emotional right now) I am so happy that he is my partner in this. He is taking responsibility and owning this new role without me even having to nudge him in the right direction. Not that I didn't think he'd be an amazing husband and dad, but I didn't think he'd be so excited and willing right off the bat. I'm truly lucky.
Well, I really should get some sleep. I'm always tired as it is and it's 12:05am and I have to work open to close tomorrow.
I called my insurance today to see all that they cover for maternity care. It doesn't seem like enough but I'll get through it. I have my first ultrasound in two weeks. It seems forever away but it was the only time that worked with my work schedule. I just want to hear a heartbeat and find out how far along I am. I emailed my manager with my doctor's appointments. I had two within three days of each other. She called my name and I asked her, "What?" Then she yelled across the lobby asking me if I'm pregnant. I didn't see any sense in lying in front of everyone since I will potentially be telling them I am in fact pregnant in a few weeks, so I said "yes." I cried haha. I wanted so bad to keep it a secret. How could I face everyone if I lose the baby? So now I'm outted at work. I'm glad I can talk openly about it, but I would have liked to tell my family before my coworkers. I still don't know how I am going to tell everyone. I want to make it special, since this baby is special to Keith and me. No, the baby wasn't planned, but we're still very excited to embrace this whole new adventure. I don't think either of us is scared we can't do it or we're too young or our relationship won't work. We had every intentions of getting married and starting a family. We were just a little careless but we're more than ready and willing to love this baby with all we have.
Let me talk about Keith. He is amazing! He is smart, driven, funny, handsome, sweet, and mainly mature hah! The look in his eyes when he talks about the baby makes me feel silly that I thought he'd run away screaming. He sometimes gently touches my belly and it's the cutest thing. The first time he did it was not long after I told him and I almost cried. (well I'm also super emotional right now) I am so happy that he is my partner in this. He is taking responsibility and owning this new role without me even having to nudge him in the right direction. Not that I didn't think he'd be an amazing husband and dad, but I didn't think he'd be so excited and willing right off the bat. I'm truly lucky.
Well, I really should get some sleep. I'm always tired as it is and it's 12:05am and I have to work open to close tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Wow
So today I decided that I wanted to start a pregnancy blog mainly for me. Maybe I'll let my family read this after I tell everyone. We really want to wait until the 2nd trimester. I don't think I could tell my family and suffer a loss and have to let everyone know. So here's the start to my blog!
Last Friday I was having a bunch of pregnancy symptoms at work. I was urinating every 15-30 minutes (I usually go to the restroom only 3 or so times at work so that was a lot!), but it didn't feel like I had a UTI because I had no pain and it was pretty normal pee (as in it wasn't just a few drops). Around lunchtime I started feelings really nauseous. I had been exhausted all week even though I had normal sleeping habits and nothing eventful was going on. I had plenty of time to sleep being home alone. One of my coworkers, and very good friend, asked me when my last period was. I really couldn't remember. I have been on the BCP for a while now but for some reason I had been really forgetful lately. Keith was leaving to go live on the boat and then do sea trials so I figured I'd start a new pack right before he came back so I could move my period around him coming home. She and I had plans to hang out Sunday so she said she'd bring some tests over for me since she had a bunch because her and her husband are trying to conceive. I wasn't really worried but I agreed. I wanted to take a test before I started up BCP again just to be safe anyways.
Flash forward to Saturday. I had a roller coaster kind of day. I woke up feeling for sure I was pregnant. I was really emotional and sat in my PJs all day. I could not stop researching pregnancy and I just had this weird feeling that I was pregnant. Being a sexually active teenager I have had my fair share of scares, but this feeling was truly different. Before I always had thoughts like "Oh my goodness! I hope I get my period." This time it was like "Oh my goodness! I don't remember when my last period was! I have all of these symptoms beyond normal PMS." I was weepy, tired, my breasts were sore, I was urinating frequently with no pain or dribbling, and I just had this feeling. I finally went to bed.
Sunday my friend came over in the afternoon. We had a huge fail at trying to learn a line dance to a song for a concert we're going to in two weeks. My grandma texted and asked if I wanted to come over and eat steak for dinner. Of course I did! I asked her when she wanted me to head over and she told me right away because they were having drinks on the porch. I grabbed some sweet tea vodka and lemonade I already had mixed before I walked out the door. I made a joke to my friend about hoping I wasn't pregnant because I'm about to go drink. She said, "OH! I brought those tests, they're in my car. Do you want to take one just in case?" I thought better safe than sorry and agreed. I went and peed in a cup and dipped the first one in. It says to wait 3 minutes, well I got instant DARK double lines. My heart started racing. She asked if I wanted to take another to make sure and so I did. Same result. I was in total shock. I asked her if there was any way that could be wrong. She said she didn't think so but they had been sitting in her hot car and she asked if I wanted to go buy another one. We drove to Walgreens and bought a 3-pack and I took another. It was definitely positive immediately like the other two. I didn't know what to do! I had to leave because my grandma was expecting me.
I left and I was shaking in my car. I had to call my sister and tell her. That's when I started crying. I thought the world would be mad at me (and she's been through this situation before since she is my little sister and she just had a baby almost a year ago). I thought Keith would think I ruined his life and my family would be disappointed. It really helped that she was excited for me. I went to grandma's and I felt awful lying about why I was late (feeding the dogs, which I did feed them but it didn't take long) and why I wasn't drinking (I said I drank the night before and I didn't need the calories). I was in shock and I was nervous. I thought any moment someone was going to call me out! I absolutely did not want to tell everyone until Keith knew, preferably until we were "in the clear for a m/c" (I have read that after 12 weeks the chances are like 3%). Keith is living on his boat full-time and I can't even get texts or emails from him or to him so I was freaking out that I would have to keep this from the most important person in my life for 2-3 weeks.
Monday I started to let it sink in a little bit. I wasn't upset anymore. It was never a question of if I wanted a baby, just when would be the optimal time to have one. Keith and I both want children and we want them in the next few years. But we really wanted to get married first. We were really planning for a winter 2012-2013 wedding in Connecticut (our next move). I was saving up to put a down payment on a venue I was absolutely in love with and he was saving for an engagement ring. I KNEW we were going to be a family, I just didn't expect it so soon. I bought some prenatal vitamins and some calcium chews since I don't drink milk and I was starting to thinking lovingly of this little apple seed in my belly. I wanted to come up with a cute little way of telling Keith when he got home about the new baby. I thought I'd have an ultrasound by then and I was thinking of putting a "I'm the big brother" tshirt on our puppy, Optimus. I got home from work and heated up some pizza when the ringtone from Keith came on. My heart started racing! I had a dream on my nap at lunch (told you guys I was overly tired) that Keith came home unexpectedly and was really mad at me when I told him. He said he was already on his way home from work, they gave him the night off since they were starting sea trials Wednesday. I called my friend and sister to ask how I should tell him. No one had any advice haha! When he got home I hugged him a thousand times but the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. Finally, I asked him to go up to the room with me to cuddle because I missed him. I just told him I took a pregnancy test Sunday because I was feeling funny and it was positive. He told me he did not expect those words to come out of my mouth. I was so surprised. He wasn't angry! I kept apologizing and he kept telling me it was okay. From that moment on I've been really happy and calm. I know we can do this and I know everything will work out if we get to keep our baby.
Now for my fears. I have read A LOT about miscarriages since my coworker had one in the winter. I am scared to death to lose this baby that I already love after only three days. I thought about shelling out over 100$ just to buy a doppler to hear my baby's heart beat. I don't know how people can get over a loss like that. I cannot fathom how I would react to find out that my baby's heart stopped. I have completely stopped reading anything about loss, bleeding, etc. I avoid everything because I know stress can be hard on my baby. I am calm, but that fear is very real to me. This is a HUGE reason I want to wait to tell people about the baby.
Since I wasn't keeping track of my period, I'm not really sure when I got pregnant. I know I'm between 4-7 weeks. I think I'm around 6 weeks because of the symptoms I have but some women get them earlier than the normal. I know I will have a late February-early March baby. I'm fairly certain that even if my due date is late February, I will most likely go past that due date since this is my first baby. I'm certainly hoping to cook this baby as long as possible. I want a healthy and mature baby.
Well it looks like Keith is on his way home for the night! They're delaying the sea trials which stinks but at least we'll have a little bit of time to talk and let everything sink in. We only had like an hour yesterday because before he came home he had invited people over to get in the pool!
How far along? About 6 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Well this is my first post and I just found out so none so far. I'm starting out at 128 and I've been a steady 128 for weeks now anyways
Maternity clothes? Not yet. I was a little bloated early last week but I'm not close to showing and no bloat the past few days
Stretch marks? I'm not showing. I have stretch marks from gaining weight and all in the past, no belly marks!
Sleep? I'm always tired! I slept a lot last week but since Sunday I've had trouble sleeping because I was so excited. I took a looooong nap today though.
Best moment last week? Finding out!
Movement? None yet.
Food cravings? none yet.
Gender? Don't know!
Labor signs? None.
Belly button in/out? In.
What I miss: Nothing yet.
What I am looking forward to: My first appointment and seeing the baby's heartbeat.
Milestones: None this week
Last Friday I was having a bunch of pregnancy symptoms at work. I was urinating every 15-30 minutes (I usually go to the restroom only 3 or so times at work so that was a lot!), but it didn't feel like I had a UTI because I had no pain and it was pretty normal pee (as in it wasn't just a few drops). Around lunchtime I started feelings really nauseous. I had been exhausted all week even though I had normal sleeping habits and nothing eventful was going on. I had plenty of time to sleep being home alone. One of my coworkers, and very good friend, asked me when my last period was. I really couldn't remember. I have been on the BCP for a while now but for some reason I had been really forgetful lately. Keith was leaving to go live on the boat and then do sea trials so I figured I'd start a new pack right before he came back so I could move my period around him coming home. She and I had plans to hang out Sunday so she said she'd bring some tests over for me since she had a bunch because her and her husband are trying to conceive. I wasn't really worried but I agreed. I wanted to take a test before I started up BCP again just to be safe anyways.
Flash forward to Saturday. I had a roller coaster kind of day. I woke up feeling for sure I was pregnant. I was really emotional and sat in my PJs all day. I could not stop researching pregnancy and I just had this weird feeling that I was pregnant. Being a sexually active teenager I have had my fair share of scares, but this feeling was truly different. Before I always had thoughts like "Oh my goodness! I hope I get my period." This time it was like "Oh my goodness! I don't remember when my last period was! I have all of these symptoms beyond normal PMS." I was weepy, tired, my breasts were sore, I was urinating frequently with no pain or dribbling, and I just had this feeling. I finally went to bed.
Sunday my friend came over in the afternoon. We had a huge fail at trying to learn a line dance to a song for a concert we're going to in two weeks. My grandma texted and asked if I wanted to come over and eat steak for dinner. Of course I did! I asked her when she wanted me to head over and she told me right away because they were having drinks on the porch. I grabbed some sweet tea vodka and lemonade I already had mixed before I walked out the door. I made a joke to my friend about hoping I wasn't pregnant because I'm about to go drink. She said, "OH! I brought those tests, they're in my car. Do you want to take one just in case?" I thought better safe than sorry and agreed. I went and peed in a cup and dipped the first one in. It says to wait 3 minutes, well I got instant DARK double lines. My heart started racing. She asked if I wanted to take another to make sure and so I did. Same result. I was in total shock. I asked her if there was any way that could be wrong. She said she didn't think so but they had been sitting in her hot car and she asked if I wanted to go buy another one. We drove to Walgreens and bought a 3-pack and I took another. It was definitely positive immediately like the other two. I didn't know what to do! I had to leave because my grandma was expecting me.
I left and I was shaking in my car. I had to call my sister and tell her. That's when I started crying. I thought the world would be mad at me (and she's been through this situation before since she is my little sister and she just had a baby almost a year ago). I thought Keith would think I ruined his life and my family would be disappointed. It really helped that she was excited for me. I went to grandma's and I felt awful lying about why I was late (feeding the dogs, which I did feed them but it didn't take long) and why I wasn't drinking (I said I drank the night before and I didn't need the calories). I was in shock and I was nervous. I thought any moment someone was going to call me out! I absolutely did not want to tell everyone until Keith knew, preferably until we were "in the clear for a m/c" (I have read that after 12 weeks the chances are like 3%). Keith is living on his boat full-time and I can't even get texts or emails from him or to him so I was freaking out that I would have to keep this from the most important person in my life for 2-3 weeks.
Monday I started to let it sink in a little bit. I wasn't upset anymore. It was never a question of if I wanted a baby, just when would be the optimal time to have one. Keith and I both want children and we want them in the next few years. But we really wanted to get married first. We were really planning for a winter 2012-2013 wedding in Connecticut (our next move). I was saving up to put a down payment on a venue I was absolutely in love with and he was saving for an engagement ring. I KNEW we were going to be a family, I just didn't expect it so soon. I bought some prenatal vitamins and some calcium chews since I don't drink milk and I was starting to thinking lovingly of this little apple seed in my belly. I wanted to come up with a cute little way of telling Keith when he got home about the new baby. I thought I'd have an ultrasound by then and I was thinking of putting a "I'm the big brother" tshirt on our puppy, Optimus. I got home from work and heated up some pizza when the ringtone from Keith came on. My heart started racing! I had a dream on my nap at lunch (told you guys I was overly tired) that Keith came home unexpectedly and was really mad at me when I told him. He said he was already on his way home from work, they gave him the night off since they were starting sea trials Wednesday. I called my friend and sister to ask how I should tell him. No one had any advice haha! When he got home I hugged him a thousand times but the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. Finally, I asked him to go up to the room with me to cuddle because I missed him. I just told him I took a pregnancy test Sunday because I was feeling funny and it was positive. He told me he did not expect those words to come out of my mouth. I was so surprised. He wasn't angry! I kept apologizing and he kept telling me it was okay. From that moment on I've been really happy and calm. I know we can do this and I know everything will work out if we get to keep our baby.
Now for my fears. I have read A LOT about miscarriages since my coworker had one in the winter. I am scared to death to lose this baby that I already love after only three days. I thought about shelling out over 100$ just to buy a doppler to hear my baby's heart beat. I don't know how people can get over a loss like that. I cannot fathom how I would react to find out that my baby's heart stopped. I have completely stopped reading anything about loss, bleeding, etc. I avoid everything because I know stress can be hard on my baby. I am calm, but that fear is very real to me. This is a HUGE reason I want to wait to tell people about the baby.
Since I wasn't keeping track of my period, I'm not really sure when I got pregnant. I know I'm between 4-7 weeks. I think I'm around 6 weeks because of the symptoms I have but some women get them earlier than the normal. I know I will have a late February-early March baby. I'm fairly certain that even if my due date is late February, I will most likely go past that due date since this is my first baby. I'm certainly hoping to cook this baby as long as possible. I want a healthy and mature baby.
Well it looks like Keith is on his way home for the night! They're delaying the sea trials which stinks but at least we'll have a little bit of time to talk and let everything sink in. We only had like an hour yesterday because before he came home he had invited people over to get in the pool!
How far along? About 6 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? Well this is my first post and I just found out so none so far. I'm starting out at 128 and I've been a steady 128 for weeks now anyways
Maternity clothes? Not yet. I was a little bloated early last week but I'm not close to showing and no bloat the past few days
Stretch marks? I'm not showing. I have stretch marks from gaining weight and all in the past, no belly marks!
Sleep? I'm always tired! I slept a lot last week but since Sunday I've had trouble sleeping because I was so excited. I took a looooong nap today though.
Best moment last week? Finding out!
Movement? None yet.
Food cravings? none yet.
Gender? Don't know!
Labor signs? None.
Belly button in/out? In.
What I miss: Nothing yet.
What I am looking forward to: My first appointment and seeing the baby's heartbeat.
Milestones: None this week
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