I've been really good about knowing I have an amazing daughter already and some don't have that
I've been really good about knowing things could be worse
I've been really good about acting normal
I've been really good acting like I shouldn't be pregnant right now
But
But I still feel hurt. I still want Jill to have a sibling in a few months. I still know I would know if I was having a boy or girl now. I still know my friends and family would be excited I was expecting. I still feel broken. I still feel angry that others have such an easy time. I still feel like I don't deserve having that wonderful, careless, easy, happy time that most have when they try or don't try for a baby and conceive.
