Cycle 10 in a nutshell

SEX SEX SEX HOPE HOPE HOPE SEX HOPE SEX OVULATION HOPE HOPE BFN BFN BFN

Come on cycle 11. I'm so over this. I'm having a pity me day today. 11 months and one day ago, I got my first BFP. A few days after that, I started this blog full of hope. The hope is in the shitter now.

Sorry for being a whiny Neg Nanc today.

Valentine's Day

Here I am crying on Valentine's Day. What is wrong with me? I have a great husband, a nice townhouse, a great family at home, my sweet puppy cuddled up next to me. Why can't I be happy for what I have and stop longing for what I've lost? I should be about two weeks from holding my little one for the first time. Instead I'm sitting here grieving the loss. I've had a rough couple of weeks lately. This miscarriage business has seriously been a roller coaster. I was lower than I've ever been, then for a while I was coasting along and feeling almost normal again and then BAM! I'm back down super low. Crying about it isn't going to bring my baby back. I just want to move forward. Maybe once my EDD passes, I'll be able to be as happy as I was a few months ago. It really isn't fair to Keith. He tries so hard to make me happy. Hopefully he'll be home from work soon and I can get my mind off of everything.
This cycle is a bust and it's not even half way over. I made plans to go home for my sister's birthday which coincides with my O date. I leave Thursday night and return Tuesday morning with a probable O on Sunday. I'm a little bummed, but I'm excited to see my sister and nephew. Maybe I'll have a December baby instead of November. Plus, it'll be easier to go home and see Keith's family for the holidays if we don't have a newborn.
I'm gonna try to pep up and stay away from TB today. Maybe I'll watch a movie or something for the next two hours.