8w1d

So I will get it right out and say that I had my first ultrasound today and there's a baby in there measuring right on track with FF (7w5d) with a HR of 154!

I have not had any symptoms since around my last post at 6w and some change. It had me TERRIFIED. I finally had some nausea Saturday evening and most of the day Sunday. This morning, I threw up in my sink after brushing my teeth. I had some pretty bad urges since I had woken up and I HAD to get the morning breath taste out of my mouth. What sucked the most was I had nothing in my stomach so only a little bile came up and it hurt like a bitch. My heart was pretty damn happy though.

I was a nervous wreck on the way to the appointment. We got there early and they got me back with the nurse within two minutes of sitting in the waiting room. I did sit there for quite a few minutes after I got naked while waiting for the doctor to do my physical exam and then the ultrasound. Once she got the u/s machine, she got right to it. I told her how nervous I was and I can totally tell how sensitive she was to that. She went to the baby right away and I didn't see anything moving and for a few seconds I thought there was no heartbeat. So she said immediately after that thought entered my mind that there was a heartbeat and she was able to zoom in a bit and I could see it beating away. She let us listen to it and I cried a little. It was soooo relieving. Everything looked normal and the baby was measuring a few days behind my LMP, but we are keeping the date the same for now since even those measurements can be a little off.

The best part was that, without me asking, she said she wanted to see me back in 2 weeks to check back in on baby to make sure things are still progressing. She said then she will relax a little. Seriously, she almost sold me on staying with her my whole pregnancy. I feel so incredibly comfortable with her and the care I'm receiving. I felt so at ease and so relieved. I am so happy that she was recommended to me. Now, I have to make the decision on whether I stay and give birth almost an hour away or go to the birth center. I've already decided that I will wait until after the first trimester to make that decision (and I will likely take the tour with the birth center). I'm just so damn happy with my care right now.

I don't have too much else to update. I haven't found baby on the Doppler yet, but I know it's still so early. I will continue trying. So far, I haven't let it worry me that I can't find it so I'm hoping I can continue to be responsible with it lol. My loss milestone based on measurements today, is Wednesday. I am still really nervous, but I'm certainly feeling more comfortable after having this ultrasound even though that wasn't necessarily a guarantee back with my first pregnancy (strong heartbeat at 7w5d and lost the baby at 8w0d). My mantra right now is basically something like my previous pregnancy does not dictate the outcome of this one. I am not doomed because it has happened before. It really is helping me for once to know the "odds."

I'll take a minute just to note how different and similar things are with Jill and this pregnancy with OWTs. I was a sick mess with Jill and only mild nausea occasionally now (although I threw up for the first time earlier this pregnancy) (nausea means girl). HR for Jill was in the 160s and this one 150s (low means girl). I don't remember what I got for Jill on the Chinese gender calendar, but this time I got girl on 3 different ones (I think two of them used my "lunar age" and one used both lunar age and "lunar month" and one used neither). With Jill, I ate all things sweet. This time, I'm really wanting the salty stuff (boy). Overall, I'm thinking it's a girl, but I really wouldn't be shocked if it was a boy. I know OWTs mean nothing and they have a 50/50 chance of being right, but it's still fun! I just have a girl feeling but it's really like a 60/40 feeling. We also supposedly conceived on O-3 which sways for girl according to the shettles method (apparently girl sperm survive longer or something like that)

How far along?  7w5d-8w1d
Symptoms? on and off nausea (more off)
Total weight gain/loss?  Down around 5lb
Maternity clothes?  After today, I'm feeling comfortable enough to make some purchases so I think I might go pick a few things up tomorrow.
Sleep?  I sleep as much as possible. This growing a baby thing is taxing! (also, who am I kidding? I fucking love sleep and I've always loved it!)
Best moment last week? Well, today was pretty fucking awesome!
Movement?  Not for a while, I'm sure.
Food cravings?  I've been wanting salty things like soy sauce-same but not as often
Gender? I'm thinking girl. We will likely find out at 16w again
Belly button in/out? In for a long time.
What I miss: Honestly? NADA
What I am looking forward to: My next ultrasound or finding the baby on the Doppler
Milestones: My next milestone will be Wednesday. I don't think I will find out for another week or more if baby makes it through

WTF

Yeah.. so that cool little ticker to the right.. it says 65 days left.

no idea whose baby this is btw.. thanks google images!

I am beginning to make preparations for labor as if Keith will be out to sea (it is a very real possibility it seems the closer and closer we get to March). I am not going to lie.. it is freaking me out quite a bit. How did I just now realize that I can't just leave the dog at home to fend for himself for days? I probably won't want to drive myself to the hospital either if I am contracting.. I have some shit to take care of apparently :P Thank goodness I don't have a kid already bc I'm sure I would have forgotten to make arrangements for him/her if Keith wasn't going out to sea :P

I've been in a funk lately. I hope I can shake it soon! I am hoping it has just been the weather and the dark and the fact that I am home by myself 80% of the time.

Last Saturday, I ended up going to get that 3d/4d ultrasound. I teared up after I left because I'm a brat and I was really disappointed. I pictured something like this:

In reality, what I have is the most stubborn daughter on the planet. Baby Jillian did not want to cooperate (like at her other two 3d ultrasounds..). She was sleeping and facing my back. She had her face covered in placenta and she wouldn't budge with any amount of prodding or me changing positions. I got 6 pictures and they all look exactly the same..

Obviously my child's nose isn't cut off and points upward bc it looked perfectly normal at my a/s

I could tell the guy felt awful for me and he printed me a bunch of pictures (like the same 3 in color and in black and white as well as gave me the CD which I don't think was included in my package). He told me I could call and come back this week for another try. He WAS able to get a perfect and clear shot of her girly bits (the first time the cord was b/w her legs and the second time her legs were crossed so I had a small doubt in the back of my mind that there would be a surprise penis that we couldn't see before). He said she had a textbook labia (odd..) lol

This time I thought I was prepared. I knew Jill was still in the same position bc I've been feeling her in the same spots for weeks (she is transverse with her head under my right side of my ribs which explains the pokes and arms I keep feeling on my right side when trying to bend over). I had an iced coffee on the drive to my new appointment. This time she was awake at least so I got to see her move. But this time she had not only placenta in her face, but she kept trying to suck on her arm and the cord was in her face. I got to see her smile and move her mouth open and close. We got some better pictures, but not great ones. She was facing a little more towards my front, but with all the crap in the way, he couldn't get a good picture of her whole face so I have a bunch of shots of different parts of her face as he moved the wand around and zoomed in and out past placenta..

My sweet girl has a cute little nose, her head seems really small and round, and she's got adorable little cheeks! Her chin is so tiny too! Thankfully she isn't sporting the mustache-looking upper lip now that she has a bit of chunk on her face. In the 2d, he said he could see that she had hair! He didn't point out what he was looking at though (I think he was trying not to waste any time getting the good shots since she wasn't cooperating)

This is what I'm talking about with the huge upper lip and tiny chin. This is from the anatomy scan at 19w5d

Overall, I wouldn't do it again because I didn't have a fantastic experience either time I went this week. I wish I had a less stubborn child in there that didn't love her placenta so much! I loved the experience we had at my sister's ultrasound at 29 weeks with my nephew. It was so cool to see him. He didn't have as much fat on his cheeks as Jillian does though. Jackie told me she wished she'd done it a few weeks later. I have heard you should do it b/w 27-32 weeks because baby is close to what he/she will look like and after 32 weeks things start getting squished in there. Jill had a lot of fluid according to the tech.. she just really loves her security blanket! Maybe this means she'll love having her taggie blanket I made her!

I got a few things today at the consignment shops (I visited two I hadn't been to before today.. one was meh and one had awesome stuff, but I wasn't willing to pay their prices.. like 25 bucks for a bouncer. Maybe it was a pricier bouncer, but if I'm shopping at consignment stores, I'm not going to pay 25 bucks for a used bouncer when I know I can get a new one on amazon for 30 even if it isn't the same bouncer). I didn't get anything terribly exciting. I got a Boppy, a head support thingy (this is for her stroller, swing, and bouncer.. NOT her car seat. You shouldn't put anything between baby and car seat unless it came manufactured with the car seat. I am only pointing this out because I had NO clue and I had registered for all the cute little headrests and seat belt covers and I had pinned patterns to make covers for car seats until I read a blog on car safety for babies and toddlers), a cute outfit that says "daddy loves me" (the dad stuff melts me), and a lamaze toy that I had on my registry that still has tags on it. In the pictures, I also have my target buys from a few days back because they were still on the table downstairs. I got her an outfit with a onesie that says "everybody loves me" with ruffle butt pants and a little pink sweater. I also got her a sleeper with an owl on it that comes with an owl bib and an owl hat! (I loooove baby hats if you can't tell). I also got her some sunglasses that match a pair of shoes she has and a bow (all of the target stuff was on clearance).

Welp, I guess my weekly update on Sunday will be short lol. I shared everything today.

Yesterday's bump 30w4d

I probably should have picked a day at the beginning of pregnancy to do bump pics.. but most of my earlier ones are on Wednesdays so I keep doing Wednesdays (hump day bump day on my fb groups) and Saturdays (my ticker change day) so I will have comparisons. It doesn't change much from day to day so I don't know why I keep doing both every week.. :P


BTW, I am super excited bc my lovely friend is making me a special necklace to wear for my shower with this:

excuse the vacuum cord and puppy's blanket/bed area behind me

She and her sister make hand-dyed jewelry that is non-toxic and safe for baby to chew on! I plan to order a few for looking cute and giving baby something to play with while nursing or baby wearing! They also do pacifier clips that are absolutely gorgeous! Jill is most definitely getting a pink one to go with all of her adorable clothes that I've spent all of my husband's money on! haha
Boubeads

Elective u/s and Diaper stash update

WARNING: I'm posting a crap-ton of pics and some potty shots (; I also apologize in advance if this doesn't flow well and for length. It has been an exciting week. I will try to reserve some things for my weekly update on Saturday.

Monday night we went to the elective u/s place. First off, this place was super nice! They had super comfy chairs, TVs, the bed I laid on was a bed/couch thing instead of a doctor's office table, there were pillows everywhere, mood lighting (I shit you not.. it was pretty dim in the u/s room :P), warmed gel for the u/s, a huge ass big screen to watch the u/s on, etc. At this point, I wasn't very confident in my early prediction/intuition/whatever of LO being a girl. I found myself looking at boy stuff a lot online and calling LO he when I got to lazy to say "he or she."

So it starts: I get up on this fancy couch/table/bed thingy and the tech starts the u/s. She goes straight for the goods view and the stinking cord was between baby's legs! My heart kind of sank because I figured we wouldn't be able to tell the sex. Baby wasn't moving much because it was sleeping. After trying to see what was going on with the goods, she pushed a bunch on my belly to see if baby would move and kick up the cord. His/her feet were straight out with the ankles crossed. Baby wouldn't budge!

The tech then moved to see if we could at least see some of the face.. Damn child had its face in the placenta snuggling (the child sleeps pretty much exactly like I do). I tried to remain positive, but I figured the tech would just turn to me and say, "Oh well! Better luck next time!" Thankfully, she didn't. She was willing to work. She gave me a bunch of chocolate covered animal crackers to hopefully wake the baby up some. She had me roll over on each side trying to see if baby would move or we could get a better view.

FINALLY, baby moved just a smidge. I guess rolling from side to side made the cord float up enough where we could see in between the legs without getting cord shots. IT'S A GIRL! I am/was/probably will continue to be super surprised and excited. I kept picturing us with a little boy!

Before I go on about girl blah blah blah: The tech then moved up to see if we could get some cute face pics in the 3d/4d. Baby still didn't want to move much and she was pretty close to the placenta still. We didn't get any cool profiles in the regular 2d, but we got some pretty cute shots of our little girl snuggling (: That ultrasound was worth every cent of the 100 bucks we spent. Even though it didn't go perfectly, it was still the coolest thing I have ever experienced and I'm so so so happy with how it all turned out (plus, we get another peek in a month or so and will hopefully get some cute profile pics of her face).

When we left the place, Keith was pretty quiet. I'm pretty sure I had a permanent grin on my face, but Keith kept making jokes about how we'd give her back and try for a boy instead and all of this stuff. I know he was just in a bit of shock (he always makes jokes when he's uncomfortable) and was trying to be cute/funny, but it really made me upset that he wasn't thrilled at the thought of having a daughter. I called family and I got a mix of reactions from "cool" (my dad's words) to pretty excited. No one was jumping up and screaming though (which now is fine with me, but at the time, I just wanted ONE person to share in my excitement with me). That, paired with Keith's reaction, kind of dampened my mood some.  I wanted Keith to feel as excited as I was. It was an awkward 45 minute drive home for me.

Once we got home, Keith called his grandmother to tell her the news. We're naming Jillian after her. His grandma's name is Rosemary and Jillian is little Jillian Rose (: She apparently was super thrilled (I didn't get to hear her reaction bc I was on the phone with my sister). After that, Keith kind of changed. All of a sudden he seemed in a great mood and kept saying he was excited. We announced Jillian's sex and name on facebook and he made his own little announcement.

Now he kisses my belly and tells Jillian how much he loves her. It's making me all teary-eyed even thinking about him. It's silly, but I think it's so sweet how he calls her his daughter. He just calls me "baby's house" lol. I guess it's all about Jill now (:

I have been having a bit of trouble connecting this pregnancy. I've let myself get excited a bit and I've loved baby from day one, but I kind of keep my distance in some ways emotionally. All of that is out of the window. I am head over heels for my baby girl. I couldn't possibly love her any more it seems. I think about her all of the time. I even went on a mini road trip and the whole time I was just worried about getting in an accident bc I didn't want anything to happen to my little girl. In the beginning of this pregnancy, I thought it'd be really cool to be team green and find out baby's sex at delivery. I am SO glad I didn't. For some reason, calling her by name and knowing she has a vagina makes her more real to me. It has helped me fall completely in love.

Anyways, the mushy part is over. Here are some shots of my baby girl!:

This one you can see what the tech said are her "three lines"

Sometimes this shot makes me second-guess it all. From other u/s's at 16w, the penis is much more substantial though, so I'm trying not to let it worry me :P The tech seemed totally certain Jill is a she and even pointed on the 4d where we'd see the penis if there was one.

Here you can see the cord, part of the beginning of a leg, then her two little arms

This is our favorite pic of Jillian. So cute!

This one is funny and reminds me of me :P I hate being disturbed when I'm sleeping!

The blob is placenta

This is exactly how I sleep (:

Now onto Jill's fluffy bum stash update (:

 In the photo above, I have a row of {6}Bumgenius freetimes (AIOs) in snaps but you can hardly see clementine in the back, a row of {6} BG 4.0s (pockets) in hook and loop (velcro), {1} NB size Bummis Super Whisper wrap (the polka dotted cover at the bottom of row 2) obv not a part of my OS stash, {6} BG 4.0s in snap that include (from front to back) Clementine, two Albert prints, two Sassy, and Ribbit, {1} HP AI2 dipe/cover (I'm on row 4 now), {3} custom Alva's (pocket diapers with a four row adjustable rise, double gussets, snap in inserts with pockets at the front and back of the diaper) in rock print, a blue star and baseball print minky, and a black (all with colorful snaps that make it easier to remember what setting your baby is at).
I have the diapers below already paid for but are on their way to me (:

I went in with a friend on this lot. I will get one Dark Chocolate, one Cherry Tomato, One Rasberry Sorbet, and one St. Lucia (4 total -brown, red, pink, blue)

This pretty thing is my first intentional girl purchase (I went in on that lot above and the girl already had the pink so she gave it to me) I am so psyched to see this baby in person!

All-in-all, I have 27 diapers in my one size collection.. Holy shit :P I'm really proud that I have such a gender neutral collection, but I think I'll fill the rest with girly stuff (: I think I'm going to aim for about 40 diapers per the recommendation of some other CDing moms (:

Bonus, here's a mid-week bump shot :P I'll probably take a new one Saturday for my update

Wednesday at 16w4d

10w6d NT scan!

Two posts in one week?! Still no bump pic though :P Maybe I'll take one tomorrow if I do my weekly post.
I had my NT scan today. Baby was dancing just like his/her dad! So much so that the tech had trouble getting the measurements. When she was finally done, the doctor came in to get better ones and jessuhbean wouldn't move at all for him! It was too funny. I have a crazy and stubborn child already. I'd say he/she takes after Keith! The measurements looked great and they will call me in about a week with the b/w results! It was all great except Keith couldn't get off of work! Hopefully we'll be having a gender scan in a little over a month and we'll work it around his schedule!
Now for my cutie!

Here's a pic my friend took of baby on the screen! I thought it was a pretty good profile!

Here's my favorite picture! Stupid doctor wrote on it with his pen.. he was trying to show me what was what like I'm an idiot.. it's pretty self explanatory in this pic and I'm not stupid

Here, he/she has his/her hands over his/her face (wow.. the he/she shit is annoying!)

All other news will be saved for tomorrow or whenever I'm feeling up for my FUCKING ELEVEN WEEK update! (sorry.. I'm pretty excited about making it this far and having a little leech inside that actually resembles a person instead of that cute little alligator!)



OOPS! Forgot to say that baby was measuring 10w5d (and literally a smidge big enough to get the measurements for the scan) and had a heart rate of 167bpm!

8w6d

Keith is off for the first time in forever so I probably won't post tomorrow at 9w exactly.
I haven't posted in a while because I was in a pretty dark place. I had given up hope on my little baby ): I was depressed and mentally preparing myself to have another d&c after my appointment. I don't have almost any symptoms anymore and that really scared me.

Soooooo.... There's a little baby inside me! I found the baby on the doppler Tuesday at 8w3d! It's the sweetest sound there ever was (: I love hearing my little washing machine :P

Then I had an awesome appointment on Wed at 8w4d (: I'm so happy I got to see my little bean! I guess I can't call him/her a little bean anymore because he/she has little arms and legs! I think it looks like a little dinosaur or an alligator :P Anyways, hb was in the 160s and he/she was measuring one day ahead of my O date. I will have my NT scan in a few weeks and then I'll have boring appt's until the anatomy scan (just blood pressure, weight, and doppler checks). I hope LO keeps growing! Here's my little jessuhbean:

How far along?  9 weeks tomorrow
Total weight gain/loss? I've lost 10lb as of this morning. I have no appetite ):
Maternity clothes?  I wear my belly band with all of my clothes. With the nausea, I can't stand having pressure on my stomach. I usually wear pjs at home because they aren't as tight.
Stretch marks? None yet
Sleep? I sleep a lot. I don't have that exhaustion during the day, but I'm getting more sleep at night since I quit my job.
Best moment last week? Seeing my little jessuhbean!
Movement?  Not for a while, I'm sure.
Food cravings?  Thinking of food makes me feel all gaggy. I can only stomach blimpies for the most part
Gender? No idea but I have strong girl vibes. Everyone keeps saying boy
Belly button in/out? In for a long time.
What I miss: Not much. I thought I'd miss alcohol a lot more, but when Keith drinks, it makes me want to gag. I don't really care for the smell at all. I had a non-alcoholic beer and haven't wanted a beer since.
What I am looking forward to: getting a little bump
Milestones: Getting the hell out of 1st tri! Less than a month away!


OOPS! I forgot my non-existant bump pic! I took it when I was walking out of the door today so ignore the sunglasses :P I think you can def tell I've lost weight. It's most noticeable in my face and stomach to me, but IDK about in the pic.

8 weeks today

 So, it's been a while since I've posted. Not a whole lot has been going on pregnancy-wise. Actually, not much in my life haha. It's been wake up, go to work, come home, see Keith (if he's not out to sea), go to bed. Throw in some eating, a whole lotta peeing, and a few naps and that's my daily schedule.

Tuesday was my first ob appointment! I thought it would never come and then all of a sudden it was time! My sister was supposed to go with me originally because Keith wasn't supposed to be home, but she ended up bailing. Keith was supposed to go for the whole thing but he ended up being about 30 min late and he missed the fun part (the u/s). I'm really glad he went though. Everything was so exciting and overwhelming, it was great to have him there just to hold my hand through it!

I went in and filled out the normal paperwork. They called me back right away and had me pee in a cup. Then I went in this room and they told me to strip down from the waist down! I had no idea it would happen so fast. I thought someone would sit and talk to me or something first. I didn't know I'd walk in the office and get naked and see my baby! I didn't even have time to process it. The whole day I tried not thinking about the appointment. I was so scared I'd go in there and they wouldn't find a heartbeat. I laid down and they lubed up this huge dildo-looking-wand and put a condom on it and shoved it right on in! The tech had the screen facing her so I could barely see. I was nervous because I didn't see anything in the first 30sec or so then she flipped the monitor around and showed me my precious baby! I was beyond elated. I could see its little heart thumping away. That's all I wanted. I didn't care about anything else. She let me listen to the heartbeat. It was 156 (according to old wives tales that means a boy)! She kept asking if I was okay because I was tearing up. She took some measurements and told me I was 7weeks5days (this was two days ago).

Keith got there right before I went in to talk to the nurse. She told me they were scheduling another ultrasound in a week to verify the gestational age and to make sure everything is going smoothly. At that appointment I'll have my full exam as well after the ultrasound! I can't believe I'll get to see my baby again! It's so awesome after thinking I'd only get to see him/her at the first u/s and then at 20 weeks and then when he/she is born!

Before I talked about how scared I was about miscarrying. Well after seeing a healthy baby those fears have all but left completely. I feel much more confident about getting excited. We decided to tell our families Tuesday as well. It feels so good to not have any secrets. It was especially hard not talking to my grandma about it because she is my very best friend. It's weird not talking to her about the biggest thing in my life.


Anyways, I work open-close tomorrow and then I'm going out for an hour or so for a girl on the boat's birthday so I need some sleep. I've been yawning the past two hours non-stop.

How far along? 8 weeks (only a few hours until 8w1d!)
Total weight gain/loss?  I weigh myself almost every morning and I weigh 125-126 (even 124 once!) but at the doctors office I weighed 127. I wonder if my scale is just off and I've always weighed one lb more than my scale at home tells me. Who knows?
Maternity clothes?  Not yet. I'm extremely bloated after breakfast until bed so I do wear a BeBand from Target so I can unbutton my work pants so they stop cutting into my tummy all day. I'm much more comfortable!
Stretch marks? I'm not showing. I have stretch marks from gaining weight and all in the past, no belly marks!
Sleep?  I'm always tired! I nap whenever Keith isn't home or when he's being extra nice. I don't get to see him much so he doesn't get so excited when I tell him I want a nap.
Best moment last week? Nothing really happened last week
Movement?  None yet.
Food cravings?  none yet. Well, sometimes when I see a picture of a certain food or someone talks about a food I really want it. Like bojangles or ice cream. But I haven't had a random urge pop into my mind yet
Gender? Don't know! I keep thinking that I want a girl, but everyone else keeps saying it'll be a boy, so maybe we'll be really surprised when the u/s tech says girl!
Labor signs? None.
Belly button in/out? In.
What I miss: Not being tired all the time
What I am looking forward to: My next appointment and seeing the baby's heartbeat one more time.
Milestones: I'm a raspberry! And I've completed about 60 days of my pregnancy! (56 actually would be 8 weeks I think)