10w2d

I'll post a quick update on my phone. I cannot believe over one quarter of this pregnancy is over. Where has the time gone? In a few hours, I will have known I am pregnant for 7 fucking weeks... holy cow! That is almost has long as my first pregnancy! I hope it continues to fly by until I can feel baby move!

I'm back home visiting for my nephew's second birthday (: I love spending time with him! He's a ball of energy and fun!

I'm trying to post a pic of him in his Mickey chair/bed with his Spiderman car that Keith and I got him for his bday, but I think the app is going to put it at the bottom of the post :P

I was feeling really shitty last weekend and actually threw up for the first time last Sunday (9w1d). I was meh all week and then Thursday I wake up in Virginia with an appetite and feeling great! Other than exhaustion, I feel pretty normal. I freaked out a bit bc I didn't listen to LO on the Doppler for a day right when I started feeling better. Finally I bought some aloe gel and got batteries and the kid is still trucking away in there.

We announced on Facebook! It feels good to be "out." I freaked a little at first because last time baby stopped growing two days after we announced. It has been almost a week and I listened to baby tonight and recorded him/her and sent it to Keith since I'm still in va and he's home in CT.







How far along? 10w2d (by almost two hours.. I can't sleep so I'm posting at almost 2am)
Total weight gain/loss? Before I left, I was down 12lb, but my appetite is back so I'm not sure if I put any back on. My Dr wants me to put back all that I lost plus the standard 25lb
Maternity clothes? I wear my belly band with all of my clothes. Today I buttoned my jeans and felt fine though. I planned on buying some mat pants after a good u/s at 8w, but with the weight loss, I haven't had the urge to
Stretch marks? I have one forming on my boob.. fabulous.. I'm not even up a cup size yet
Sleep? I could sleep all day still.
Best moment last week? BR- hitting one quarter baked and hearing jessuhbean almost every night. NonBR- visiting family and friends back home
Movement? Not for a while, I'm sure.
Food cravings? None too strong. Bojangles, but it's safe to say I want that all of the time even when I'm not with child :P
Gender? I'm starting to question my girl intuition when I keep calling baby "he" and "him." I will look up elective u/s places when I get home so we can find out. We'll probably do that or do some private gender reveal in case Keith is underway for the a/s
Belly button in/out? In for a long time.
What I miss: I hate being the center of attention and questions. Other than that, I love being pregnant now that I'm feeling better!
What I am looking forward to: getting a little bump and finding out if LO is a boy or girl! I also have my NT scan this week on Friday!
Milestones: Getting the hell out of 1st tri! Less than a month away! One quarter baked this past Saturday!

8w6d

Keith is off for the first time in forever so I probably won't post tomorrow at 9w exactly.
I haven't posted in a while because I was in a pretty dark place. I had given up hope on my little baby ): I was depressed and mentally preparing myself to have another d&c after my appointment. I don't have almost any symptoms anymore and that really scared me.

Soooooo.... There's a little baby inside me! I found the baby on the doppler Tuesday at 8w3d! It's the sweetest sound there ever was (: I love hearing my little washing machine :P

Then I had an awesome appointment on Wed at 8w4d (: I'm so happy I got to see my little bean! I guess I can't call him/her a little bean anymore because he/she has little arms and legs! I think it looks like a little dinosaur or an alligator :P Anyways, hb was in the 160s and he/she was measuring one day ahead of my O date. I will have my NT scan in a few weeks and then I'll have boring appt's until the anatomy scan (just blood pressure, weight, and doppler checks). I hope LO keeps growing! Here's my little jessuhbean:

How far along?  9 weeks tomorrow
Total weight gain/loss? I've lost 10lb as of this morning. I have no appetite ):
Maternity clothes?  I wear my belly band with all of my clothes. With the nausea, I can't stand having pressure on my stomach. I usually wear pjs at home because they aren't as tight.
Stretch marks? None yet
Sleep? I sleep a lot. I don't have that exhaustion during the day, but I'm getting more sleep at night since I quit my job.
Best moment last week? Seeing my little jessuhbean!
Movement?  Not for a while, I'm sure.
Food cravings?  Thinking of food makes me feel all gaggy. I can only stomach blimpies for the most part
Gender? No idea but I have strong girl vibes. Everyone keeps saying boy
Belly button in/out? In for a long time.
What I miss: Not much. I thought I'd miss alcohol a lot more, but when Keith drinks, it makes me want to gag. I don't really care for the smell at all. I had a non-alcoholic beer and haven't wanted a beer since.
What I am looking forward to: getting a little bump
Milestones: Getting the hell out of 1st tri! Less than a month away!


OOPS! I forgot my non-existant bump pic! I took it when I was walking out of the door today so ignore the sunglasses :P I think you can def tell I've lost weight. It's most noticeable in my face and stomach to me, but IDK about in the pic.

7w

I didn't take a bump pic today and I'm not going to. I don't have the bloat bump anymore because I am finding it ridiculously hard to eat. I have lost 6lb this week and I basically feel like I have a hyperactive flu every day. It is so hard to work. Heck, it's hard to just lay on the couch without wanting to cry! I am so nauseous every day. Thinking about food makes me want to throw up. I have, thankfully, only thrown up once and it wasn't a big deal. I tried to eat a sandwich and couldn't get down the first bite, causing me to throw it back up and dry heave for a few minutes. I've started taking b6 and unisom (this is my second day) and I'm feeling mildly better. I ate some fried pickles and half of a piece of pizza tonight. I felt like shit afterwards, but at least I got something in here. One of my sweet friends sent me the most delicious brownies ever and that is the only thing I've been able to eat without gagging this whole week. I hope this b6/unisom combo helps. I have my doctor's appt with the nurse on Tuesday and I hope to get a prescription for zofran.

I thought about talking about my fears, but I'm not really in the mood right now to feel all of that shit. I've been trying to put it in the back of my mind, but it doesn't always work. Just a bit over a week until I reach the point where my first baby stopped growing. I'm scared.

How far along?  7 weeks even
Total weight gain/loss?  Lost 7 since the beginning. I started at 140 and I'm at 133 as of today.
Maternity clothes?  I wear my belly band with all of my clothes. With the nausea, I can't stand having pressure on my stomach. I usually wear pjs at home because they aren't as tight.
Stretch marks? None yet
Sleep? Still tired. Sometimes I find myself staying up late even if I was tired all day. Maybe that's the pregnancy insomnia I've heard of? It isn't so bad yet.
Best moment last week? I'm still pregnant.
Movement?  Not for a while, I'm sure.
Food cravings?  Thinking of food makes me feel all gaggy.
Gender? No idea but I have strong girl vibes. Everyone keeps saying boy
Belly button in/out? In for a long time.
What I miss: Food. Subs more specifically.
What I am looking forward to: Hearing the baby's heartbeat or my u/s.. whichever comes first!
Milestones: My next milestone will be to make it past 8w0d with a healthy and growing baby. I hope to be able to find the hb on the doppler around that time

6weeks!

I'll update tonight. Just wanted to add my super bloat and my nice boobs :P (well, the boobs are big for me!

Okay, I posted that before dinner. Now for my update:
Holy crap! How am I 6 weeks already? I hope the rest of my 1st tri flies by. I spent two hours online last night watching youtube videos on dopplers and reading threads and threads seeing how early people found their baby's heartbeat with the Sonoline B Fetal Doppler... I may have ordered one last night......... I'm hoping it takes about a week to get here and I can try it a little after 7weeks. I know it was stupid, but it'll be worth it if I can give myself just a little bit of reassurance. I am scared to death that my baby is going to stop growing in the next few weeks. I've been cruising along feeling fine up until the past two or so days. I have no idea how I'd get through something like that again. I want and love this baby so much. Okay, well I need to get out of my PgAL brain right now..
Symptoms are coming and going at this point. I had some killer nausea this morning at work. 6 weeks on the dot.. I've read a lot that it starts for a good chunk of ladies around 6-8 weeks. I hope it doesn't continue. I didn't even feel better when I ate delicious carbs. I only felt better after a long nap. The bloat hit me today too. I thought I wasn't going to be touched by the bloat fairy this time because so many others that are about as pregnant or less pregnant than me have already had crazy bloat according to them. Well, as you can see above, I am not skipping that symptom either :P To me, I legit look pregnant in person. My stomach is a bit past my boobs today. Maybe I just need to take a good poop! Other than fatigue, awful acne on my face, bloat, and that first wave of nausea, I have sore upper abs (weird this early??) and super dry skin. I'm loving it though (: I'm so happy to be here and pregnant. Today I am pregnant and I love my baby!

How far along?  6 weeks even
Total weight gain/loss?  Haven't checked lately
Maternity clothes?  I went and bought a belly band and two shirts for work. I'm not going to wear one of the shirts until we're out at work because another pregnant girl at work has it in another color so I don't want people to know I'm shopping at Motherhood Maternity yet!
Stretch marks? No new ones, but I've always had stretch marks. I'm sure I'll look like a tiger in March.
Sleep?  I am tired All.The.Time. I can take a long nap in the middle of the day and still fall asleep at 10pm and sleep through the night. I'm usually yawning around 10am or earlier. This hasn't let up at all.
Best moment last week? I'm still pregnant. My baby's heartbeat should be beating which means I'm past the point of having a Chemical Pregnancy (:
Movement?  Not for a while, I'm sure.
Food cravings?  Subway (I eat it every other day or so) and chocolate cake (I still haven't given into this)
Gender? No idea but I have strong girl vibes. Everyone keeps saying boy
Belly button in/out? In for a long time.
What I miss: Energy... although, I love the excuse to take naps and sleep in!
What I am looking forward to: Hearing the baby's heartbeat or my u/s.. whichever comes first!
Milestones: My next milestone will be to make it past 8w5d. I hope to be able to find the hb on the doppler around that time

5w

This isn't going to be much different than a few days ago. I just wanted to start my bump pictures (:
How far along?  5 weeks 0 days
Total weight gain/loss?  Still down about 3lb
Maternity clothes?  Not yet. I haven't even felt bloated yet.
Stretch marks? No bloat or belly yet.
Sleep?  Still pretty tired although it's easing up fractionally (or maybe I'm just getting used to it)
Best moment last week? Not much has happened in the past week
Movement?  Not for a while, I'm sure.
Food cravings?  I haven't really had any cravings yet.
Gender? No idea but I have strong girl vibes
Belly button in/out? In for a long time.
What I miss: Not much. I could go for an ice cold beer
What I am looking forward to: My ultrasound that is scheduled on the 24th. I think I will buy a doppler around then too
Milestones: My next milestone will be to make it past my ultrasound. It is scheduled for after my first baby stopped growing. I hope to be able to find the hb on the doppler around that time

4w4d

My fourth kind of blowed. Keith is being a huge baby. We seriously got in an argument about seeing fireworks because he's being a big baby about there not being any near us. We haven't gone to see the fireworks since we've been together.. IDK why he all of a sudden cares today. I swear.. he must be having sympathy pregnancy hormones and mood swings.

I am doing so well this pregnancy. I was so scared the last one. I never got attached. This one has felt different from day 1. I still get scared and have those moments of doubt, but I'd say I'm about 85% positive and only 15% freakout PgAL brain.

I found out that Keith is going to be underway for pretty much my whole pregnancy. I'm kind of scared shitless. What if something happens? I'm alone up here. Thankfully, when I found out last year, my grandma was able to take care of me. My mom and grandma were there while I cried and screamed in my bed. I can still see it and it still makes me cry to think about that day. I still vividly remember every moment from being on that ultrasound table to sitting with the nurse to trying so hard to drive myself home to screaming and crying to going in for surgery and waking up from the anesthesia to going to my grandma's and waiting for Keith to come home from sea so I could tell him the baby died and I just had it sucked out of me all while he was on a submarine thinking everything was a-okay. Oh my god.. what if I have to live with something like that for days or weeks? At least Keith came home the night after I found out and only 10 or so hours after my surgery.

On a lighter note, I called my sister and she said her and Coop would come live with me for a few weeks around my due date in case Keith is underway when I go into labor. I would love to have her by my side. I think she'd be the best labor coach and partner for the natural birth that I want. I think she'd be a great advocate for me and would help me stick to my guns. She's so strong and she's not one to waiver. I'd love having her help me learn how to be a mom for the first few days when family comes in. I know all of this is a long way off and I have plenty of time to let it all sink in and work out the details. Lets just hope that LO doesn't stray to far from his or her due date unless Keith is home :P

Totally unrelated: I'm reading a book called Divergent. I hope it turns out to be good. A lot of people compare it to The Hunger Games. So far, it's a pretty easy read.

Back to the baby talk: I'm going to share some of my crazykakes tests. At this point, I'm just wasting tests because I'm very confident that I don't have to worry about my tests fading out.

Yesterday at 17DPO. Today's test line is darker than the control

4w4d

A dear friend sent us this SOA onesie.. I'm dying at how adorable!

How far along?  4 weeks and 4 days
Total weight gain/loss?  Last I checked, I lost 3-4 pounds. Probably from the lack of booze
Maternity clothes?  Not yet. I haven't even felt bloated yet.
Stretch marks? No bloat or belly yet.
Sleep?  I am tired All.The.Time. I can take a long nap in the middle of the day and still fall asleep at 10pm and sleep through the night. I'm usually yawning around 10am
Best moment last week? The super super dark lines.
Movement?  Not for a while, I'm sure.
Food cravings?  I haven't really had any cravings yet.
Gender? No idea but I have strong girl vibes
Belly button in/out? In for a long time.
What I miss: Booze. I don't really miss anything too much.
What I am looking forward to: I don't know. I want first tri to hurry up, but I'm really enjoying being pregnant. I am so incredibly happy. I haven't made an appointment yet because I'm going to switch my insurance hopefully tomorrow (and I think it takes 10 days to switch over) so it'll be a while until I even have a date to count down to. I'm fine with that. I don't really want to see a doctor until 9 weeks or later anyways. I'd actually be okay not having an u/s until 20w. I'm thinking of buying a doppler towards the end of this month.
Milestones: I passed my latest loss's milestone. I lost my last at 4w2d. My next milestone will be to make it past 8w5d. I hope to be able to find the hb on the doppler around that time.

So.. yeah.. March..

9DPO FMU, 9DPO SMU, 10-12DPO FMU

So, that is what happened with cycle 11. I'm pregnant. I am a huge mix of emotions (mainly good, I promise!). I was convinced we'd need help. I was convinced there was something wrong with me. I was convinced that I would hit this past week and the next month with an empty uterus and a sad heart.

Here I am, 13DPO with progressing lines. I know, I know.. HPTs can't tell you if your pregnancy is going well or not. With my chemical pregnancy, my lines were exactly the same for all five days.. very faint until they faded away and I started my period.

Chemical Pregnancy tests. 10DPO, 11DPO, 14DPO (15 was neg)

I am due March 9. Just 8 days after what should be my Angel's 1st birthday. For some reason, that makes me hopeful. I at least feel like I'll have some time with this baby. A little longer than 5 days. I have known I am pregnant for the same amount of time as last pregnancy already and those lines are steadily progressing.

So far, I have been overwhelmed with girl thoughts. Keith still thinks boy and his mom thinks twins.. I would die if I had twins. I don't know what I'd do with myself. Yes, that's right! We told family this time. We told our close family today at 13DPO or 3w6d. We're both feeling really positive and I'd love support if this ends badly and we have to do loss testing.

Today, some of that high from the positives wore off. I'm starting to get scared and I keep trying to put those thoughts out of my mind by distracting myself. I've been thinking non-stop about the pregnancy since our positive test at 9DPO on Monday. Today is the first day I've been trying not to think about it as much. Monday will put me past my Chemical Pregnancy milestone. I think I'll take a slight breath once I hit 6 weeks. I want to try and schedule my ultrasound for around 9 weeks (which will be the first-second week of August). Last year, my baby stopped growing at 8w0d and I think if I'm only going to get one early u/s, that I'd like it to be after that milestone.

Well, I don't have much else to say. I have sore nipples and I'm tired almost all of the time. That's about it :P